Book Tour Virgin is Will Clarke.com

Sometimes, When I'm Bored, I Go On Worldcatlibraries.org To See Which Libraries Have My Books Checked-out. Sad, But True.

Texas Book Festival

This year's Texas Book Festival rawked. I got to meet and hang out with some amazing writers: Mark Z. Danielewski, Cristina Henriquez, Elizabeth Crook, David Henry Sterry, Arielle Eckstut, Stephen Harrigan, Amanda Eyre Ward, Stephen Graham Jones, and J. M. Ledgard.

Anyway, I was too busy name-dropping novelists more famous than myself to blog. So fortunately, Adam Rice did it for me with his blog. Click here to read his blog about the fest.

WTF? ROLLING STONE Put Some Bald Dude On Their Hot List

Hot List Issue on newstands Wednesday, October 4th (L.A. & NYC), Friday, October 6th (Everywhere else)

Here's a sneak peak.

 

Monday, July 10th-Dallas Signing & TV Appearance

Join me in kicking off my new novel, THE WORTHY, at Barnes & Noble, 7700 W Northwest Hwy # 300, Dallas, 75225  - (214) 739-1124.

Things get started at 7:30. See you there.

Also tune into "DFW Today" on KXAS-NBC 5. I'm on the show from 10 to 11AM, July 10th.

I Have Been Too Busy And Egomaniacal To Be Honest & That Is Making This Blog Sort Of Boring

When I started this blog, I wanted to capture these painfully honest dark-chocolate nuggets of truth about being published for the first time. That's because there's this bittersweet experience that goes with being a Book Tour Virgin that most people never hear about. And I wanted to document it as fast and as truthfully as I could. But instead I just posted a bunch of pictures of me smiling with booksellers, and blogged about free iced coffee and killer card tricks.

And for this I apologize. I will do better from here on out. Not that I have an excuse, but part of the reason this blog has had such a boring candy-coating is because when I was touring, I was creating the very same sugary shell for myself. I guess I needed the protection, or maybe I am just too chickenshit to go out into the world without the bulletproof vest of easy glibness.  Plus, all the traveling and reading my own press, made me so self-obsessed that I had a hard time even thinking about anything other than my own mediocre Amazon ranking or what some asshole gossip columnist at the New York Post said about my book. This is endlessly fascinating to my own monkey mind, but pretty boring to everyone else.

Now that I have had some time to get my head on straight, I am ready to tell the truth. Hopefully the truths will be personal enough to be universal or at the very least, interesting. So stay tuned. This is where this blog gets good.

About To Go On Live WBLT Jackson

What I really could do is take a nap in this dark control room. I hate
waking up early. The gospel singer is cracking her knuckles. Wonder if she's nervous.

Why Authors Are Like Crack Smokers

Yesterday, I went around to all the Dallas bookstores and signed stock while giving free copies to the booksellers who helped me. The autographed-copy stickers will help move books, and hopefully if said booksellers read my book and like it, they will hand-sell it.

Seeing your book in stores is exhilarating—what with all the averting of your eyes and digging your toe in the sand when someone says your author photo is handsome; and when you modestly espouse the merits of following dreams; and then laugh with booksellers who think the title is funny. It's the ego equivalent of hitting a crack pipe. You almost have to wipe the white powder from your mouth.

But then euphoria fades, and you see all these other books—big books that want to beat up your little no-name author book. 1776. Freakonomics. The Kite Runner. Books that everyone is talking about. Books that shine like hard candy in the front of the store, while your book, which has only been out for two days, has already been ushered to the back of the store, to "The Stacks."  So you go home and check your Amazon ranking—thinking that the Internet, the Great Democratizer, will hold better news—and you see the shitty Publisher's Weekly review that's as big and bright as Vegas telling people not to buy your stupid little book. This is when you realize, that what you are doing is completely and utterly impossible. That you are riding on a SCUD missile that is aimed straight for the mid-list and you are flapping your arms wildly, trying to change its course.

Then you get a call from your publicist, telling you that the Dallas Morning News wants to do a story about you and your book. The flame licks your ego's glass pipe, the water boils, the rocks melt, you inhale, and you feel like John Irving again.

It's Both Very Cool and Highly Unnerving To See A Big Poster Of Yourself In Barnes & Noble

I have been driving around all day signing stock at various DFW area bookstores, and I stopped by the Lincoln Park BN to see how many of my books they had. This is what greeted me when I came up the escalator.

I Google Myself Way Too Much

Actually, I Google the title of my book way too much. But as a result I have found that Lord Vishnu's Love Handles is popular with:

1) The British
2) Aspiring Rockstars
3) Single Pisces
5) The Digerati
6) Employees Who's Bosses Give Them Christian Motivational Books
7) Will Christopher Baer Fans
8) My Agent
9) Poddy Mouthed Girls
10) Hollywood Reporters
11) Voracious Readers
12) Vaguely Annoyed Bloggers
13) The Mint Laboratory
14) Guys Who Dress Up Like Rubik's Cubes
15) Journalism Haters

Soliciting Advice For My, Um, Friend.

I need some advice. Well, I don't. A friend does.

See, I have this friend who used to work at an advertising agency. This friend of mine left the agency for another opportunity. And she has recently found out that a TV script that she wrote was produced, and now it is being entered into award shows, but the Creative Director at the shop has, for whatever reason, omitted her name from the credits.

Granted, there were probably changes made to the script and another writer had to cover the shoot, but in my opinion my friend should at least be credited as a co-writer since it was her concept to begin with. Since advertising awards can make a big salary difference and provide better job opportunities for a copywriter, I think it kind of sucks that the "powers that be" were so careless about this. But let's not jump to conclusions. 

Perhaps my friend's just worshiping a golden calf, duped by the illusion that awards and bigger salaries really matter. I mean, who's to say the spot is even going to win an award. Plus, my friend's life is going pretty well. My counsel to her is just let karma take care of the situation. We reap what we sow. Right? But other ad people have been outraged by this and counsel her differently.

If you were my friend, how would you right this situation?