Book Tour Virgin is Will Clarke.com

Forget Everything You Think You Know About Going To Heaven Says Buzzkill Bishop

Think heaven's going to be nonstop white puffy clouds, halos, and angel wings? Think again says Anglican Bishop. It will be more like taking an Ambien according to this guy. Click here to read more.

Oh. My. Xenu.

This week's alien theme here at willclarke.com has been raised to a whole other level. Click here to see the bat shit fly. It's so worth it, I promise.

 

Angry Parents in Cumberland, Rhode Island Meet Angry Parents In Conroe, Texas

Sometimes Monday Can Only Be Made Better With A Little Arcade Fire in An Elevator

Random LSU Videos–Enjoy

A Seminary Student Reacts to Meeting Me In A Books-A-Million

Click here to read what he thought. He was a very nice fellow, very earnest, but like all of us, he seemed to be stumbling in the dark a bit. I didn't have anything to give him to light his way other than a smile and a finger puppet. However, I think he thought I was trying to convert him to Hinduism, (or worse Methodism). So he refused the funny little toy.

The Zen Of Grocery Shopping

One of my favorite things to do when I feel out-of-sorts is to grocery shop. Being around large stock piles of food makes me feel safe. Like if The Bomb went off, I'd have all the canned food I needed to make it through a nuclear winter maybe. Plus, there's something soothing about coming in from the 102 degree Texas heat and shivering in the refrigerated air of a grocery store. Lucky for me there is the most kick ass grocery store on the planet not to far from my house. HEB's Central Market is full of really strange and peculiar lettuces, obscure cheeses, unpronounceable spices, and intricately prepared meals and sauces.

So today my girlfriend gave me a shopping list and I went up and down the isles, humming to the Muzak, and getting my feet back on the ground while eating more than my share of the free prosciutto and stinky cheese samples.

I am feeling less exhausted if not a little bloated now.

Shangri La. Mecca. House of Pies.

I just finished my Houston Public Radio interview. Almost missed it
because my cab didn't show. But I phoned it in and the host was so nice
and asked really insightful questions. So now I am across the street at
the House of Pies and I am going to eat me some pie to settle my jangled
nerves.

I Love Weather

I was up until 5 AM last night and have gotten up today at 9 AM to
complete my deadlines. When I went out to walk my dog, it was so hot that it just made me want to go back inside and hide in the air conditioning. All the overbearing brightness just made me feel even more beaten down and tired.

And then out of nowhere, these dark blue, almost purple clouds, swooped in and brought with them rain that came down fast and hard like coins spilling out of a stolen money bag. The lightning made everything smell like a Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier. So I put my work aside and went outside on the porch to watch the weather with my best friend. We sat together and learned sign language from a book I got at Borders one day when I was passing out finger puppets.

I'll get back to work when the skies clear, but right now I am busy loving the weather.